The Psychic and The Immortal
by Nijii-chan
Summary: Kyle is psychic. Kenny is immortal. Cartman and the people in Hell wants them, their powers. How will the two boys fight off the forces of EVIL? Warning: Gore, coarse language and disturbing supernatural powers. Slight Shounen-Ai.
1. The Immortal

**Disclaimer: **I don't own South Park. If I did, then I wouldn't be posting this thing in Fanfiction and it wouldn't be fan-made. Where's the logic? Hunh.

**R&R**

* * *

**Chapter 1**: _The Immortal._

/\/\/\/\

_Character Profile…_

_Searching…_

_1 Results found…_

_Analyzing…_

**Name**: Kenneth McCormick

**Race**: American, Irish

**Age**: 14

**Birthday**: March 22

**Height**: 5'6

**Weight**: 42 kg

**Eye Color**: Ocean Blue

**Hair Color**: Blonde

**Family Background**:

Poor, Low Class.

**Mothe**r: Dish Washer

**Father**: Occupation not found. Alcoholic

**Brothe**r: Student

**Sister**: Student

**Alias**: Kenny, Kendall, and Mysterion.

_Save File?_

_Profile Saved._

_Lunch Time._

Kenny, Cartman, Stan and Kyle sat on a table to eat their lunch. Kenny only had milk with him. One of the cheapest milk he can afford while saving money to buy new things to get into the latest trends, Powdered Milk…in a bottle. Upon seeing this, Cartman snikkered and laughed at Kenny's so called-lunch. Cartman had a baloni sandwhich with choped lettuce and a slice of cheese and mayonaise as its fillings along with that on his menu is 5 sausages and chocolate milk that cost 1 bucks.

Kenny just drunk the bottled powdered milk silently in a daze. After he finished drinking his milk he sighed in disatifaction. His stomach felt full because of the liquid but he felt it growl for real food something he can munch on and something full of calories that would make him gain a few more kilos.

He looked at Kyle's lunch. It was just a simple cheese burger. He licked his lips and imagine the taste of cheese in his mouth and that juicy burger that came from beef. He kept staring at the cheese burger, he could even feel his tongue sweat and crave for it. He wanted to reach out and beg Kyle to leave him some but he couldn't, he knew an asshole is next to him, he knew Cartman wanted to blow an insult right on his face. So Kenny held the thought of asking Kyle's half of his cheese burger.

Then he looked at Stan's lunch. 2 Kentucky Fried Chicken legs with gravy and an apple. Kenny wanted to ask one chicken but he can't since of his psychological fear of Cartman's insults on the poor…literally poor boy. So he sat there staring at one of the chicken, imagining how he would eat the chicken skin along with the gravy then after he would put some gravy on the skinless chicken and put it on his mouth to chew on it. OH~~ the chicken's meat with gravy would taste good on his hungry taste buds. Kenny can just imagine how amazing it would feel when you're full because of the chicken and how sad it is to have a bone left right after.

He finished with his small fantasy that is relating to food and he knew that would never happen. Amazingly his stomach wasn't craving for food, he was finally satisfied. Kenny sat there waiting for them to finish eating their lunch.

"Kenny, are you full already?" Stan munched on the chicken bone hoping if there is a small amount of meat left.

"Yeah, unless you're willing to give me an apple."

**[|==|^|==|]**

The four boys went back to their respective classrooms and their respectives seats. Kenny never bothered listening to the teacher discussing, you know how teenagers are, they get bored from hearing lots of mumble-jumbled shit that sounds like a woman nagging due to PMS infact no one in class listened. The girls were hiding their phones texting and the boys we're passing notes to eachother writing down things to humilate and to insult each other. Kenny joined in to have a lil'entertainment and just the heck out of it. The teacher never bothered scolding them because there are a few students still paying attention to him, the honor students like Kyle, Terrance, Wendy and etc. so he'll let them go for awhile.

Kenny read the words written on the paper, his eyes followed the pattern of the sentenced as he snickered.

_Awesome shit, man!_

Kenny wrote in amusement, he couldn't restrain his laugther at those naughty jokes made by his classmates and he pass the paper on to some random student.

_Rustle. Rustle._

Hunh, What was that? It sounded like a piece of thick plastic that was about to be torn apart. Kenny looked around to check but there wasn't any plastic but only students chattering and minding their own business. Since there was nothing interesting to look at Kenny just shrug it off and went back to his business.

_Crunch. Crunch._

Okay, now that's odd. First, Kenny heard a plastic making sounds now someone is making crunching sounds? Kenny analyze the crunching and he began to realize that someone is eating.

Whoa…someone has the guts to eat in class and didn't get caught? He or she must have the balls to do it. But nah…you can just sneak in a bite and hide the rest of 'em from the teacher, right? Nothing special 'bout it…

Kenny never bothered to turn his head. Who would turn his head just to look at someone eating? Seriously, where's the manners of that? I mean, think about it, imagine YOU eating while someone is observing you eat. Wouldn't you feel uncomfortable and awkward? You'll never know what that person is thinking behind that face.

Kenny looked at the students infront of him and they seemed to never notice that annoying crunching sound so he went to the flow and followed them. _IGNORE!_

Once he made that option that annoying sound stopped.

_Thank God!_

_Squish. Crumble. Crumble._

Great…! First, someone is opening a plastic. Second, someone began eating. Third, I don't know what the hell was that! Who the hell would give a fuck about those sounds?

_I wouldn't dare to look at that ass making irritating noises!_

But once you think of it…it made a squishing sound. Is someone jacking off in class right after eating? Wait…right after that squishing sound then came the crumbling sounds…now who would do that to their dick? That person must have serious issues in jacking off.

Wait…

Maybe that person wasn't jacking off. That person must have been opening a plastic, ate some shit in there, and then maybe JUST MAYBE he just squished that food in his hand and made it crumble into little bits. What a waste of food. _Tsk._

Kenny didn't dare to look but suddenly something went flying at him. Some landed on his head, shoulder, desk and on the floor but it was near his foot. Kenny took a closer look at it and it was crumbs of food. _Totally a waste of food._

Kenny decided to turn around at the culprit who made him a victim of food throwing-slash-wasting.

…

_Damn! Should have known!_

It was Cartman. Kenny glared at him and grinded his teeth with his right hand clenching in anger and in annoyance. What the hell is wrong with him? What's his problem? Wait, Cartman always has a problem to every kid in South Park so scratch that out of the question. A jackass, racist, sexest and an arrogant spoiled brat. _Sigh._ _When will he go to hell like Hitler? _

"What?" Kenny hissed. _I hope that would warn the fatass not to mess with me! Dammit he's so annoying!_

Cartman didn't say a thing but he just continued throwing crumbs right on Kenny's face. Kenny blinked at every throw just to avoid the crumbs getting into his eyes.

"Heh heh heh, Khinniy, eat those crumbs. I know you were hungry during lunch. I can tell by the look in your eyes when you were looking at us eat. Milk is bullshit and won't satisfy you or my stomach." Cartman said, still throwing the bits of crumbs at Kenny.

Okay, that's just insulting. Does someone has a muzzler out there? Because there's a bitch barking in with insults and needs to shut the hell up and mind his own tail (or crap). I mean seriously, you're a lower class and a middle class is insulting you that you have a shitty lunch to eat-dash-drink while his having something that you can't afford and he is boasting about it, don't you just hate that? I mean seriously man!

"Lunch is over already and I'm not hungry. I can't believe you're still eating eventhough it's been what? 32 minutes?" _You're just lucky that you have a mom who can whore her self out and get tons of cash for a dick in a vag! You can't even live on the streets by yourself for a day!_

"Hahaha, at least I can eat anytime I you can't" Cartman stopped throwing crumbs. _Finally._ Well there isn't anything left to throw actually but at least that stopped.

"At least I ain't a fatass. I wouldn't worry about my weight and get liposuction then I. Don't. Care." Kenny brushed off the crumbs off his hair and off his shoulders with one hand. There were a lot of 'em, one hand is not enough for him to clean everything off, he knew he started to use both of his hand to clean off for his hair.

Cartman didn't fight back he just crumple the piece of plastic and put it under his desk to throw it later. _What a miracle._ Kenny resumed to his position and cleaned his desk. Not a word was uttered by the two boys. I wonder if Cartman gave up with that little debate.

**[|_(σ_σ)_|]**

_4 o'clock PM. _

_Krrrriiiiiinngggg!_

The school bell rang reminding that all the students are dismissed from their classes and school is finally over for the day. Our four main boys were as usual together walking. Strangely Cartman was in complete silence mode. The three boys noticed but they didn't bother to ask why. At least it's a great oppurtunity and at last there is an invisible muffler for that asshole.

All the boys went to their residence accordingly with no problem. Kenny had a thought beforehand so he took a little short walk around. He can hear footsteps behind him.

Was it a stranger walking to the same direction as him? Let's just leave it at that but there are times where your gut instincts tells you to "TURN AROUND!" so Kenny did turn around without control of his own body.

Cartman. _AGAIN?_

"Khinniy, why is it that I can't kill you?" Whoa. That voice was serious and deep. When did Cartman noticed Kenny's immortality? Has he been observing him all this time? Is that why he's been giving Kenny loads of shit in his life?

"Who knows?" Kenny turned around to continue with his stroll but he paused wondering what would Cartman respond to his answer. _Screw the curiosity!_

"I'm serious. I want to kill you but then you would come back to life. I hate that. I want you to die permenantly and go to hell."

"I thought you told the media that we were bestfriendsforever. Why would you kill your 'bestfriend'?"

"That's just to make you go to 'heaven' so that I can have your PSP, I **DID **want you dead that time. Idiot."

_Oh, greedy bastard. Why did I write in my will to give my Sony PSP to him? Should've given it to Stan or to Kyle. Shit. _

"So you're using my death as an excuse to get everything you want?"

"Exactly, now I grew tired of it and I want to get rid of you."

With an evil grin on Cartman's face Kenny began to feel a cold shiver running down to his spine. What does Cartman have in mind exactly? God, just the thought of Cartman killing Kenny until his vision would go black and see a different light and his soul can see Cartman licking Kenny's blood that were present on those fat fingers grossed the hell out of him. Don't even want to think about it.

"You must be immortal, Khinniy"

"If I am, what would you **DO**?"

Cartman didn't answer to Kenny. He just walked off and went to one of the convinience store. Kenny followed him but didn't go inside that would make him look like he is direly desperate for the answer. Kenny looked through the glass and see Cartman buying DVDs he was relieved it wasn't a knife or anything that can kill him.

Can a DVD kill you? Well, yes, if only you know how to kill someone with a DVD. Kenny thought on how would Cartman use that DVD, is it just to kill him or just to watch the contents?

Imagine Cartman breaking the DVD into half and pick the sharp edge and slice it on Kenny's neck until it became gashed due to strong muscle strenght that has been used to add pressure onto it. Kenny would began with a massive bleeding from his neck and he would have difficulties in breathing and can't stop the wound from opening even more and plus with a lot of blood to loose. Then Cartman would break Kenny's neck (eventhough it has been sliced) until his spine goes along with the damage and couldn't move and he would have difficulties containing his life until he was lost by murder.

_Oh God. That's so disturbing and that's one fucked-messed up shit._

Kenny left the store and went straight home for his safety. _Okay first Cartman made fun of me because I don't have a proper lunch to eat so I take it lightly now he wants me dead and he knows I'm immortal. Dammit, am I in dipshit? Is he gonna kill me and send me to heaven or hell forever?_

_Hmm…_Kenny wished to die and stay in a place where souls are present forever than being brought back to life. Every immortal wished for eternal death. Can Cartman grant that wish? Is he the right person to give him death and can make him rest in piece? Questions, questions all with the questions are filled in Kenny's mind.

But wait!

Cartman wanted to kill him, take advantage of his death experiences and what if his death will be a total loss? _I don't want that to happen._ _I don't want to be killed by Cartman if ever I would loose my immortality. Never by the hands of an asshole! I can only agree to nature or old age as long not murder! _

(o.\\\)_(o.\\\)_(o.\\\)_(o.\\\)

_Somewhere in a dark and secluded place._

_Click. Click. Tap. Tap._

An unknown shadowy man can be seen typing infront of the computer with a cup of coffee next to his keyboard. The man was typing an E-mail. Yes, an E-mail just for a few important people.

**Recipients**: Eric Cartman, ******

**BCC:**

**CC:**

**Subject: **Kenneth McCormick

1 attached file.

Greetings! I have a few files that I have relating to the young boy "Kenneth". If you have any file that you have relating to him please send 'em to me and I can do my research on it. I guarantee you I do great research. They don't call me an ex-FBI for nothing. ;)

Cheers!

_Sending E-mail._

_E-mail Sent._

(o.\\\)_(o.\\\)_(o.\\\)_(o.\\\)

_In Cartman's Inbox._

_Download File?_

_Scanning for viruses._

_Threat not detected._

_File Downloaded._

_…_

**Name**: Kenneth McCormick

**Race**: American, Irish

**Age**: 14

**Birthday**: March 22

**Height**: 5'6

**Weight**: 42 kg

**Eye Color**: Ocean Blue

**Hair Color**: Blonde

**Family Background**:

Poor, Low Class.

**Mothe**r: Dish Washer

**Father**: Occupation not found. Alcoholic

**Brothe**r: Student

**Sister**: Student

**Alias**: Kenny, Kendall and Mysterion.

_Save file?_

_File Saved._

_In Cartman's desktop._

_Click. Click._

_Opening Sticky Note App._

Kenny McCormick is **IMMORTAL.**

_Save Note?_

_Note Saved._

=∞ .END∞=


	2. The Psychic

**Nijii-chan**: Sorry for not updating 'cuz my internet connection won't sign in to any account D: and we had some technical difficulty, m(=_=)m so here ya go.~ Hope you like it. ** R&R**

**Chapter 1**: _The Psychic._

/\/\/\/\

_Character Profile…_

_Searching…_

_1 Results found…_

_Analyzing…_

**Name**: Kyle Broflovski

**Race**: American, Scottish

**Age**: 14

**Birthday**: May 26

**Height**: 5'3

**Weight**: 40 kg

**Eye Color**: Glassy Green

**Hair Color**: RedHeaded Ginger

**Family Background**:

Normal, Middle Class

**Mothe**r: HouseWife

**Father**: Lawyer

**Brothe**r: Student

**Alias**: Kyle, Kahl, Jew boy, and The Human Kite.

_Save File?_

_Profile Saved._

_Broflovski Residence._

Kyle was on his desk studying and doing homework at the same time he was serious on it. Kyle growled messing up with his hair.

_Goddamit! There it goes again! How come I can see the test questions?_

Kyle isn't a cheater unlike Cartman but somehow he can see the upcoming test questions. Kyle didn't want that, he doesn't like to have a little spoiler on the test. What's the point of having a test when you know what's gonna come up? Where's the learning in that?

Kyle threw his books, papers, notes and his pencil to his right in anger. Kyle was so frustrated so he went to his bed to sit down and relax his mind for a while.

A vision came.

Kyle can see Kenny talking to him. Kenny's face was serious and worried. Okay, what's up with this vision? Why in the world is it involving around with Kenny and him? Is something gonna happen?

Another vision came.

This time it has Damien and Cartman in it. Why in _hell_'s sake is Damien in it? Is there some kind of significance in it? Kyle see him being with Kenny and he sees Cartman being with Damien. Is Kyle high on drugs and is hallucinating? Maybe so but Kyle has been seeing a lot of things and it happened tomorrow or in a couple of weeks. Whatever it is Kyle will keep his guard on with Cartman or to Damien (not that Damien is schooling there).

_Maybe I'm going crazy? _

If Kyle will just put those little fucked up visions aside then maybe he is high on drugs or his brain needs a little sorting out to make him less-crazy sunshine.

_Yeah, let's just put it at that._

**[|==|^|==|]**

_In school._

"Okay little bastards, you have 10 minutes to answer this simple little test. Now answer it or _fuck_ off." The teacher said handling the test papers to different students and went back to his seat right after.

Kyle began answering like it was a piece of cake. His eyes were so focused on the paper and he can see the answers in it and he just followed it along. _I ain't cheating, it's what my mind wanted me to answer too._

Cartman stared at Kyle and how he is answering his test in such light speed. Such big suspicions.

_1, 2, 3 and I'm done!_

Kyle was done with his test and passed it to the teacher. Such an accomplishment, those hands were tired trying to catch up with the answers. Kyle gave his left hand a little exercise by cracking its knuckles and turning his wrist around.

_I wonder if the teacher will ask me how the hell did I get the right answer all the time…_

"Wow, Kyle, you did it again." Stan gave Kyle one of his cute yet handsome smile. It was like the background has sparkles and roses like those japanese mangas of hot men where their appearance would outshine than the others.

"Well, it was because I studied hard." _Yeah right, I did try to study but I throw those shitty-ass books and went to bed. _

"I wish I have the motivation to study hard. I can't even answer number 5." Stan scratched his head, while his other hand had pencil, and bite his index finger.

_Stan if you get high on drugs then you can answer that stupid test all the way without troubles…_

Kyle shifted his head to the other side and he saw Cartman and Kenny staring at him.

_Hunh? Why are they looking at me for? They think I can just tell them the answer because I hang out with them? Ha! Think again assholes. _

**[|_(σ_σ)_|]**

_Lunch Time._

"I bet you get an A on the test, Kyle." Kenny patted on Kyle's shoulder before he sat down on his seat which was next to Cartman. Kyle jolted and brushed off Kenny's hand right away. I bet Kyle felt guilty when he was answering. He wasn't using his brain power or his memory power just to answer it, infact his mind was calm and relax while the others are stressed out hoping to at least pass.

Kenny didn't mind being ignored and brushed off like a little rodent because he always get that a lot so he's used to it.

_I feel bad…sigh…_

"So, what did you get for lunch, Khinniy? Is it powdered milk again?" Cartman asked as he showed his lunch which appears to be 2 cupcakes and 2 sandwhiches which has ham and cheese on it. Hunh, this time what Cartman has seems to be simple, that's strange.

Kenny shake his head and he reached out his pocket in his jeans and he revealed his lunch: 2 bubble gums.

"This is all I got. Any insults would you like to give me?"

Kenny's eyes darken and his face shows a blank expression. Cartman stared at the 2 gums. He didn't laugh or give him some bad jokes. Cartman grab onto his two cupcakes and looked at them for awhile as he sigh.

"Here, have 'em" Cartman looked at Kenny again and handed him the two cupcakes.

_What the? What's with fatass? He's suppose to be greedy when it comes to food! _

Kyle stared at Cartman with a bewildered look and so does Kenny and Stan. What the hell?

"Thanks?...I guess." Kenny grab the two cupcakes and scan it before giving it a taste test. Kenny gave it a little bite and started to think what's the taste and what's in the cupcake if it's any good. Well, it is _good._

_This is so not like Cartman…What's up with him?_ _What is he planning this time?_

"Hey, Cartman. Why the sudden change?" Kyle asked with a tiny sweat on his right cheek trying to give a fake smile which was an epic fail.

"I decide to give Khinniy a little nice-life once in a while."

_Hunh, what does he mean by that?_

Kyle look at Kenny being horrified by Cartman's words. He saw Kenny holding a cupcake that he gave a little bite and he was trembling like a dog being scared to be punished.

_Why's Kenny like that?_

Kyle kept on staring at Kenny as he began eating his sandwhich little by little, observing and he really wondered what's in Kenny's mind.

Then he heard a voice.

_**I'm in deep shit alright! He IS gonna kill me!**_

The voice that Kyle heard was Kenny. Could it be he accidentally read Kenny's mind without the owner's permission? Okay, where in the world is he getting these crazy-assed awesome shit?

=~**[|_|]**~=

_5:30 pm_

School was never interesting in Kyle's life anymore but at least school is dismissed for today. Stan went home ahead without Kyle because he said he had to take care of something since his parents and his sister aren't home. Kyle just continue walking slowly making his way just to kill time.

"Kahl?"

A familiar voice was heard and the way Kyle's name was pronounced is also familiar. Kyle turned around to check who it was.

Cartman. It was Cartman.

"Hey, what's up?" Keeping his cool in and Kyle knows he has no one by his side and talking to Cartman. **ALONE**. It was dangerous to talk to Cartman alone, everyone knows that by now.

"Is it okay if I can come to your place?"

"Why?"

"I want to see how you do your schoolwork, is-all."

Somehow Kyle can feel an un-easy feeling within him. He looked at Cartman carefully before giving him his approval (or disapproval). Kyle can sense a little bad agenda in Cartman yet he can also feel that Cartman is always like that and he's being paranoid because of the past experiences with him.

"Sure, just don't do anything stupid."

Cartman smiled happily yet maliciously and it gave Kyle the creeps. _Yuck, don't smile at me like that, dick-wad. _Kyle walked ahead with Cartman following behind him.

**.**.**.**~∞…∞~**.**.**.**

_Broflovski Residence. Kyle's room. _

"When is dinner?" Cartman sat down on Kyle's bed, feeling he is at his own home, relaxed like a high class bastard. Kyle was standing there closing his door slowly without making any noise.

"Mom will call us out. Don't just think of food all the time. You're already this fat, man!"

Kyle was expecting a defensive response like 'I'm just big boned!' from Cartman but nothing like that came out of Cartman's mouth.

"Cartman, you're acting strange since lunch. I noticed that. Did something happen?"

Kyle's eyebrows were curved up and he moved his chin down to show a worried look. Kyle went near his bed and took a seat beside Cartman. Kyle's back slouched and his legs were open just to place his elbows on his thighs and his hands can have space to freely lay and move around when ever he wanted.

"I was just shocked about Khinniy."

Cartman rubbed his chin thinking very hard whether to tell Kyle his plan. _Wait,_ Cartman thought. _Kyle is also part of my plan. Let's just change what I was about to say then…_

"What's with Kenny?" _Cartman is opening up to me. Hmm, maybe he matured a bit (I think). Has he gone to bad-to-good now? Did he realize something and he went to good? Did Kenny tell him something?_

"Kenny is just digging his own grave just to save money and that gave me a thought to help him."

"You've finally learn to be nice, huh?"

Cartman didn't say anything he just stared at Kyle. That's strange. Cartman wanted Kenny dead and he is helping him live a better life than a poor one?

"Kyle, look at me." Kyle without hesitation looked at Cartman.

"Why must I look at you?"

"I want you to answer me one thing: Do you **HAVE** powers?"

"Powers? Pfft! No! There's no such thing as '_Powers'_. You're still childish as usual. There is always a logical explaination in everything. You should know by now."

Kyle look away and stood up. _Maybe it __**IS**__ powers…I mean the shits I hear, see and etc. Maybe it wasn't drugs. I didn't even take any drugs! _

"Kyle, just to let you know. I have my eyes on you."

Why would Cartman think Kyle has powers? He really is observing everyone. Is he looking at those people who has powers? How did Cartman know Kyle and Kenny has powers?

_That's gay and plain creepy…_

"Anyways I'll check what's mom cooking, 'kay?"

Kyle went downstairs and went straight to the kitchen. He was freaked out alright. Cartman must really be planning something that would hurt Kyle. _He's still that same asshole as usual!_ Ike saw Kyle walking downstairs with an unbalance way. As Ike look at Kyle's room he saw Cartman sitting on the bed like a potato couch and grinned at Ike.

"Good Evening." Cartman greeted Ike cunningly. Cartman lay his top body on a big and soft pillow and look at Ike with a sharp look.

Ike didn't like to hear a greeting and he didn't like to see Cartman on top of Kyle's bed, feeling like he owns the place. Ike never liked Cartman too. He gave him a suspicous glare hoping that Cartman would take it as a warning to not harm his big brother despite being adopted.

Ike took off and cleared his throat without greeting back. The cunning look at Cartman's face wiped off as soon as Ike left.

"_**Kyle, I know you're psychic all this time. You answer tests like there's no tomorrow and you know that I did things to you without any evidence which I deny it. I always wonder how did you do that and a man told me the answer. Don't worry Kyle, you're not on drugs. I will assure you I can take all those freaky shits out of your life for you…or even YOU."**_

(o.\\\)_(o.\\\)_(o.\\\)_(o.\\\)

_In Cartman's Inbox._

_Download File?_

_Scanning for viruses._

_Threat not detected._

_File Downloaded._

…

**Name**: Kyle Broflovski

**Race**: American, Scottish

**Age**: 14

**Birthday**: May 26

**Height**: 5'3

**Weight**: 40 kg

**Eye Color**: Glassy Green

**Hair Color**: RedHeaded Ginger

**Family Background**:

Normal, Middle Class

**Mothe**r: HouseWife

**Father**: Lawyer

**Brothe**r: Student

**Alias**: Kyle, Kahl, Jew boy, and The Human Kite.

_Save file?_

_File Saved._

_In Cartman's desktop._

_Click. Click._

_Opening Sticky Note App._

Kyle Broflovski **PSYCHIC.**

_Save Note?_

_Note Saved._

=∞ .END∞=


	3. The Hippie and the Genius

**Sorry for not updating for a while I was so busy in schoolwork and with my Doujinshi (and other random comics) :D. So...uh...yeah...here... R&R. Sorry if there are any errors... ^^;****  
**

**Chapter 3**: _The Hippie and The Genius._

/\/\/\/\

We all know that Stanley Randall Marsh has been a pussy for all his life, an emo little bitch when it comes to romance, and a softie to the poor and hopeless people. Some view him as a red-neck but Cartman views him as a hippie, Kenny views him as a jock while on the other hand Kyle views him as no other, Stan, his 'super' bestfriend.

* * *

Cartman knows Stan doesn't possess any powers so he put him aside from his list but he still plans on using Stan's 'normality' into action.

It was a hot (like that's possible in South Park but you get the point) Sunday afternoon and Stan was doing his football practice with the rest of the team. Girls were swarming into the court to watch the boys play and they were screaming different names of the players.

"Pass it to me!" Stan yelled to the player who has the ball and was on his team for the practice. The boy threw the ball to Stan with all his might hoping that he did a great throw that even Stan can catch it.

Let's take a closer look at the background while the jocks are playing their thing, shall we? We can see a lot of girls screaming in excitement, of course, but if we take a closer look and squint our eyes we can see a fat boy sitting there with his arms crossed and legs spread wide open like any guy would. Now who would that be? Well, of course, it was Cartman judging by the fat body. It seems Cartman has been stalk-er…I mean observing his 'close friends' each day. What is he trying to do? First he followed Kenny and knew he was immortal then followed by Kyle which he knew he has psychic powers but what about Stan? What is it that Stan possess that has gain Cartman's interest in mind?

"Okay, let's take a break! I'm sweating like a pig being roasted here!" One of the players said, panting from exhaustion like it was from hell. Football is a tiring thing, y'know. You run like you've been chased by Death (which is true) and if you're not careful you'll get squished and suffocate until you might think you're dying.

The players went to the bench to grab a towel and wipe their sweat off from their faces while others took off their shirt to feel the air come at their chest.

_Whew, that was tiring. Why did I join in the game again?_

Stan left the court to change back in his normal attire and we can see little (big) Cartman following him along the way.

~**|…|**~

Stan was in the locker room to change clothes. He just wore a simple red top and simple blue jeans with his usual hat on top of his head.

_Creek..._

Stan turned around to look at who was by the door and it was Cartman.

"Hey there" Stan said.

Stan wasn't afraid of Cartman since he knew he had done nothing wrong to him but just insult and citicize his stupid ways, which wasn't that major. Stan was also a guilible guy, easy to get manipulated thinking it also has good benefits for him which wasn't true and he ends up getting into trouble.

"Hey, you've been playing _rough_. That was a great game eventhough it was a practice."

"Don't say that. That's a girl's line for a boyfriend. What's wrong with you? You're acting strange lately."

"Stan, people change because of the influence of friends. You guys influenced me. I thank you for that."

Stan felt awkward and grossed out to the 'new' Cartman. He didn't back off or anything he just stood straight like a brave man that would be facing a powerful beast.

"Cut the crap, Cartman. You_ always_ do that to get what you want. Tell me, why are you being nice to Kenny and why are you locking your eyes on Kyle during class? You think I didn't notice? You think I'm ignorant to my friends _(which you are not included)_ and let them get hurt? Think again! What are you planning to do with Kyle and Kenny? Are you gonna sell them or something?!"

Stan grabbed Cartman's collar to show him he is the predator making his prey feeling threaten as he yelled from the buttom of his lungs. Stan's voice was serious and his face showed an angry look, eyes widen while his pupils delated and his eyebrows furrowed together.

"Stan, calm down. I won't do anything to our 'friends' I'm not a bad guy, y'know. I'm being nice to Kenny because I felt a little pity for him and I've been observing Kyle because I want to be one of the A-students like him, I just wanted to know his habits in class 'cause maybe it'll help me improve, that's all."

Cartman touched Stan's hands and make sure they are relax until it became calm. Stan panted from the yelling and let Cartman go. The two boys look at eachother's eyes, Stan's eyes shows that he is searching for suspicions if those words aren't true while Cartman's eyes shows nothing but a calm and collected attitude, those eyes didn't show any fear, whether he was lying or not. Stan blinked his eyes and thought of it.

_Maybe he isn't lying._

"Alright, I'll think of your actions as that **BUT** if you make a mistake and try to do anything to Kyle and Kenny I'll beat the hell out of you! **UNDERSTAND?!**"

"I understand."

**[|==|^|==|]**

_After that incident with the same date._

Stan went to Kyle's house to make a few reassurance to himself and keep his composture in. He wanted to know what is going on with Cartman's mind and what is it in Kyle that has caught his interest. Is he gay for Kyle or somethin'? Nah, Cartman also got his eyes on Kenny too so that must not be it.

_Knock. Knock._

Stan waited the door to be put in action or to be open by someone from the Broflovski.

_Ka-chak._

The door was open and we can see little Ike opening it. Ike was wearing a white shirt with a red collar and red hems on it and a pair of short that goes along with it, a simple house attire to be precise.

"Whew, it's just big brother Stan. I thought it was Cartman again."

Ike sounded stiff at first and became relieved by looking at the face of Stan. Of course, our little hippie didn't know that Cartman was invited over in Kyle's house. Wait, why did Kyle agree to let Cartman in eventhough Kyle knows what Cartman is like?

Stan went in without further notice.

"Where's Kyle?"

"Kyle isn't here. He went out with dad."

"I'll wait for him then."

"Stan, can I talk to you?"

~**|…|**~

_In Ike's room._

Ike and Stan took their own chair to sit on and waited for a few seconds to recollect their emotions and thoughts. Ike was the one who wanted to talk to Stan so he was the one who started the conversation.

"It's about Cartman."

_Cartman._ God, that name made Stan feel more uneasy and alert than usual. He can't keep his emotions intact, he can even feel his heart beating fast, why is he feeling so nervous upon hearing that name?

"I think he is planning something for his own benefit again."

Of course, Cartman is always like that, Ike. But, the question is: What is he planning?

"It must have something to do with Kyle."

"Not just Kyle, Ike. Kenny is in it too."

"Kenny? That perverted blonde?"

"Yes, I understand why he is aiming Kyle because he wanted to make him look foolish but, what about Kenny?"

"I don't know but we've got to watch over them then. It kinda sounds dangerous."

"Yeah, maybe we should."

**[|_(σ_σ)_|]**

_The next day. Monday_

The school was chattery and loud as usual before the bell rings and class would begin. The students were enjoying their little time talking to each other. Stan was just standing infront of his locker recalling about his conversation with Ike.

_I really want to help them but I don't even know how to protect my friends._

"Stan."

Stan turned around since he was obviously called by someone and it appears to be Cartman. Cartman handed a box to Stan that has cards in it.

"It's a gift. I was really telling the truth, Stan. This gift is to make you believe in me."

"What are these?"

Stan opened the box and looked at the cards. The cards had drawings on them. They aren't for gambling, pokémon cards or any game related cards. The drawings on different cards were a star, a plus sign, 3 curved lines that goes vertical, a circle, a square and different simple shaped drawings.

"Zener Cards."

_Zener cards? What are those?_ What would Stan do with cards that are called 'Zener Cards'? They don't look playable and interesting at all!

"What should I do with these?"

"Well, I thought you and Kyle might as well have fun playing with them."

"You play with these?"

"Why, yes. It's quite fun, addicting_ and _irritating."

"How do you play with these?"

"Example, I'm holding one card and you have to guess what the drawing is. It's that simple."

"That's boring."

"Kyle_ loves_ guessing games."

When Stan heard that Kyle 'loves' guessing games he just put the box of Zener Cards in his pocket and didn't respond since he doesn't know what to say. _I'll just keep them and before I play with these shit I should search about Zener Cards it might be dangerous._

~**|…|**~

_Marsh's Residence._

Stan was on the internet searching about Zener Cards on Google and was lead to Wikipedia. While waiting for Wikipedia to load up all the data in Stan just looked at the cards for a moment and took a deep breath. _Even if it's little things that I can only do I'm glad that I can find little ways to protect them._ Wikipedia was finally done loading, Stan read the contents well not all of it since some of us just want to know straight to the point than knowing its history, origin and other shit we just wanted to know what it is.

_Zener Cards are used to train a psychic's ability._

_Hunh_, Why would Cartman give Stan Zener Cards eventhough he isn't psychic?

_I should try and E-mail Ike._

~**|xxXxx|**~

Stan went to activate his E-mail account and found Ike was online and available to chat.

**Stan:** Ike, Cartman gave me Zener Cards and he told me that me and Kyle could play with it.

**Ike: **Zener Cards? You mean Cards for the psychic?

**Stan:** Umm, Wikipedia said that…So yeah, I guess.

**Ike:** So he wanted you to play Zener Cards with Kyle?

**Stan:** Uh…he said that.

**Ike: **Didn't you wonder why he said "with Kyle"?

**Stan: **No, I thought because I always hang out with him.

**Ike:** He can just say that "You can play with it" but he specified someone and that's Kyle.

**Stan:** So you're thinking that it's part of his plan?

**Ike: **Maybe. Maybe not. We'll never know but we have to keep our guard up.

**Ike:** Cartman only gave you that and it's only relating to Kyle not Kenny, right?

**Stan:** Yeah, wait. Since Cartman wanted me to _play_ Zener Cards with Kyle and Zener Cards are for psychic, I'm not psychic that's for sure, does that mean Kyle _**is**_ psychic?

**Ike:** Maybe, I'm not sure.

**Stan: **You should be 'sure' you live with him!

**Ike:** He doesn't display ESP directly in our house, so I can't tell.

**Stan:** Doesn't display? So does that mean he does a little of it?

**Ike: **Maybe yes. Maybe no.

**Stan:** I don't want to sound like a professor but it's just my theory. Could it be Cartman is trying to develop Kyle's not-so-sure psychic abilites?

**Ike: **Maybe.

**Stan: **Dammit Ike! Stop chatting like Cleverbot! I'm serious!

_**Ike has signed out.**_

~**|xxXxx|**~

_Strange, he signed out. He was replying odd too. Was he in a hurry or was he just busy?_

Yeah, Let's just put it like that. When people are in a hurry or busy they usually reply less or like they just reply nonchalantly, so maybe Ike is like that, right?

_I won't follow Cartman's twisted plan! I won't be fooled this time! I got Ike by my side so everything will fall out of your own anus, Fatass!_

(o.\\\)_(o.\\\)_(o.\\\)_(o.\\\)

_In Cartman's desktop._

_Click. Click._

_Opening Sticky Note App._

Must develop Kyle's psychic ability. Do you think it's safe or not? It's worth the shot then…

_Save Note?_

_Note Saved. _

=∞ .END∞=


	4. The Fat ass and the Devil

****Hey guys! Sorry for making you wait for so long... I was having nausea all the time so I have to sit back and watch Youtube videos... lol ^^;; also this chapter won't make up for it so I am sorry for that too...Anyways, thank you so much for the reviews it means a lot to me~! I'm too shy to reply to them though / even though my attitude in the first chapter made me sound like a jerk but still I'm a nice girl :D you can critique this story but not that much since this is not beta'd and I'm the only one correcting my grammar and uh...I just turned 15 or something and I'm a girl (lol)...so you can say "Ey twerp! correct yer grammar!" or "Yer story ain't good for my brain! It's got zero calories!" x'DD but seriously it's not neccessary for you to do that ^_^ anyways enough of my sloppy chit chatting excuses just read this! **R&R**

* * *

**Chapter 4**: _The Fat ass and the Devil._

/\/\/\/\

We all know that Damien is the son of Satan but what we **don't** know is _who_ is the mother (or father)? Okay, we can now see Damien watching Cartman in the shadows or in the depths of fiery hell. Why is he watching Cartman? Should we ask the little devil and get burned with that silly yet threatening background song even us can enjoy singing and listening to it and it goes _Reptus. Dumenos. Cheesy Poofs_? I don't think we have the guts unless you're immortal. Let us just observe everything and find out why is Damien watching Cartman. God, I hope he's not gay or anything just like his father. That's a highly disturbing shipping but it's fine though.

_Somewhere around in Hell._

_CRASH! THUD! CRASH!_

Damien heard a loud crash coming from the living room and went to check up what it was. It was his father and Saddam Hussein having a "lovers' quarrel".

"Father, what is going on?"

Damien's voice is a bit different. It became cracked like any teenage boy. His highly over-pitched voice was gone and his voice has finally bloomed in the ugly-duckling voice stage. Anyways, back to the situation, Damien can see his father being beaten up by Saddam Hussein with a large wooden stick which no one knows where that came from even though it wasn't in the household in the beginning.

"C'mon Damien! Beat the shit out of your father! He's being a pussy!" Saddam said still continuing beating Satan up for God knows how long was he beating him up but he wanted Satan's son to join in too but we still don't know the reason though.

"Stop that! Why should I follow your orders and beat my father up?"

"Because he isn't following what I wanted for the plan to be!"

Plan? Wait, what plan? Okay, does anyone knows what Saddam is saying? I thought **Cartman** was the only one that has a plan in this stupid story.

"Don't beat my father up! Tell me, what is your new orders for the plan?"

"Okay, okay, I want Satan to go and talk to this fat ass about _it_."

Wait! Hold up! Who is this fat ass? Duh, obviously Cartman! But what does he have to do with the people in _Hell?_

"I'll do it. I'll take it for my father's place. Just don't beat him up."

"Damien, don't be a sweet-bone like your father. Try to act like me! You have to show no mercy to get what you want!"

Saddam swing the wooden stick around and Satan duck for cover because he doesn't want to get hurt or he's just being paranoid due to over beating.

Damien never liked Saddam Hussein. He thinks he is all that because of the wars that he made when he was still alive. What Damien didn't like about Saddam is that he keeps bossing Satan and him around to get what he wants if not they both will get a beating and you know Damien never liked to get bossed around.

**[|==|^|==|]**

_Somewhere down in Earth. South Park._

Cartman was walking in the streets looking at stores and we can see him a few dollars in his hands. Looking left and right Cartman didn't see anyone like Kyle, Kenny or Stan.

"Fat ass."

Cartman heard someone and he knew by the second it was one of his comrades. No, it's not Kyle and the others, it's someone else. Of course, Cartman didn't like to be called fat ass since it's an insult name than a nickname. Cartman turned around and saw a kid in black, his top was black with no design, pants were all black and _still_ no design, and his shoes were all black and _finally_ with a friggin' design of fire.

It was Damien.

"Hello, Damien. You're here, huh. You should have text me or E-mail me."

Cartman smirked at Damien as he looked up and down at him. If you were Damien and see that face, you'll be thinking he has a thing up his sleeves and what if he'll pull out a knife or somethin'.

"It seems Satan and Saddam doesn't want you to do this alone. Instead me keeping things intact and accordingly, I'll go and help you with things that seems to be impossible to handle."

"If that is what Saddam and Satan wanted then we'll go with it."

"You'll handle the psychic. I'll handle the immortal."

"What about the third party?"

"The ex-FBI? Oh, he'll still be in our hands-of-control. Don't worry, he'll still be useful."

"I see."

"So, did Stan used the Zener Cards on Kyle?"

"Apparently, no."

Damien and Cartman just stood there looking at each other. They were both thinking hardly on what to do just to please Satan and Saddam, but mostly Saddam, since Satan was under his control, again.

Damien took a deep breath, "_They_ wanted Kyle's psychic powers to go ripe and powerful. _They _don't want a power that isn't fully trained."

"Wouldn't it be dangerous? If Kyle's powers get trained enough and get stronger, what if he'll use them and hurt us?"

"In every plan there must be a sacrifice."

"So, you're willing to get anyone killed? I ain't gonna be that sacrifice. I won't die until I finished what I must do."

"We shall begin the training of Kyle's powers."

**[|_(σ_σ)_|]**

_Broflovski Residence._

Kyle was watching Terrance and Philip to calm his mind from 'studying'. He was the only one alone in his house, his mother went out with Ike, and his father went out to do his job. Kyle was left alone to watch over the house.

_Knock. Knock._

Kyle stood up and went to the door. He took a peep from the hole and saw a man. He doesn't look anything suspicious but he was a stranger. Is it safe for a 14 year old letting a stranger in the house? I think _**NO**__._

Kyle hesitated to open the door. To him it was the feeling of being paranoid but to us it seems that he is being a scaredy cat and a wimp.

_Knock. Knock._

The man knocked again waiting for the door to be opened. Kyle opened the door and he mentally prepared himself to get kidnapped or stabbed in the gut but when he looked straight in the eyes of the man he seemed to just smile in a friendly way showing he is harmless.

"Hello, my name is _Ace_. May I come in?" The man said pointing his thumb to himself just to introduce that he is _Ace._

"'Ace'? Are you an apprentice with my dad or something?"

"No, I am here to give children around your age to make your minds open up to another level."

"That's bullshit man." Kyle slammed the door right in front of the man who seemed to call himself _Ace._

"Young boy, it might help you improve your academics. It's just a _brain enhancer_. It's for _**FREE**_ too!" The man kept knocking the door, pleading that Kyle would open it again and they would talk about it even more to clear things up.

"Fuck off man! Not interested in brain enhancers! It's just a scam like in the internet!"

"If you won't let me in and let me do my duty. I will stand in front of your door even if I have to freeze!" The man said banging his head on the door and added, "If my body has rotted and died here then I will write a dying message that you murdered me!"

Kyle twitched his eyebrows, he was pissed off, because that man was trying to get in his house doing some kind of brain enhancer shit and most of all he doesn't trust that man.

"Just brain enhancers? Nothing else?"

"Yes, only that. Then, once I finish the brain enhancer then I will go to another house."

~**|…|**~

_In Kyle's room._

The man shuffled a deck of cards in his hands while Kyle just sat there staring at them and was waiting for instructions. The man handed out Kyle a few cards that has drawings on them.

"These are the drawings that the cards mostly have."

Kyle looked at them and analyze the drawings perfectly to remember them and gave them back to the was the star, the circle, the square and etc. The man started shuffling again. He then grabbed five cards from his deck and shuffled the five cards. _Ace_ then showed Kyle the back of the cards while the drawings were facing on him.

"Pick a card. Don't look at the drawings."

Kyle followed his instructions and picked a card that was on _Ace_'s right hand, that was placed on his right thumb. _Ace_ hid the other four cards and held the card that Kyle picked.

"Now close your eyes." _Ace_ instructed.

Kyle followed the instruction and closed his eyes.

"Take a deep breath."

Kyle took a deep breath.

"Relax your mind and try to see my hand that is holding the card without opening your eyes."

_How am I going to do that? We mostly see things with our eyes!_

Kyle relaxed his mind when taking a few deep breath. He imagine the man's hand. Kyle wasn't sure if he was seeing the hand without opening his eyes but he thinks he is just imagining it.

"Once you see the card in my hand with your eyes closed, focus on it and try to see what the drawing is."

With eyes closed, Kyle focused on the card as followed from the instruction he was given. He felt a sharp pain in his head and he felt like he was about to choke but Kyle was still focusing on the card trying to see what the drawing is.

"When you see the drawing of the card with your eyes closed, open them right after and check if the drawing is the same with your eyes open."

It took awhile for Kyle to focus on the card and see what drawing it was. He saw that the drawing was a plus sign. Kyle opened his eyes and looked at the card that the man was holding.

"What is the drawing you see?"

Kyle stared at the card and he can see a plus sign overlapping the card and he blinked slowly to see if he wasn't seeing things.

"I see a plus sign." Kyle said.

"Very good. It is a plus sign." _Ace_ revealed the drawing to Kyle and clapped his hands for Kyle's success.

"Now, let's try another level."

The man grabbed the four remaining cards and showed the back of it to Kyle, "This time you're not gonna focus on my hands with your eyes closed. You're gonna focus on my mind and try to see what I see."

_What is this? What kind of brain enhancer is that?_

~**|…|**~

For a few hours _Ace _and Kyle had been doing this 'brain enhancer' and Kyle was into it too. He enjoyed doing this kind of guessing game. I guess Cartman was right about Kyle liking guessing games. Sad to say for Kyle, it was time's up for _Ace_'s little duty shift for one house. Kyle just let it go and let the man leave the house. When he watched the man leaving he was expecting him to go to another kid's house but he didn't.

_Huh? That's strange._

=~**[|_|]**~=

_Somewhere in a dark alley._

Damien and Cartman were sitting on a cardboard box that has heavy contents in it just to handle each boy's weight. Then there was a shadowy figure seen and the two boys look at that person and they seem to know each other.

"_Ace_, how was it?" Cartman stood up.

"I guess Kyle was okay. He can do telepathy at such a limit but we might as well try to improve that a bit."

Damien stood up as well and scratched the behind of his head, "So, you just did Zener Cards on him?"

"Yes, because I lied to him about me doing _brain enhancers_ to each kid. If I try to let him develop all the psychic abilities he might suspect that it was really a scam and I'm a fake."

Cartman and Damien looked at each other and nodded. Damien turned back to _Ace_ and sighed, "Very well then, I guess it's up to me and Cartman to handle the two boys without you being suspected."

"If you will excuse me, I will be dismissing myself and take a leave."

_Ace _left the two boys alone without turning his head to look at their faces. Damien and Cartman sat on the cardboard box and slouched their backs.

"We have to develop Kyle's powers in some way." Damien bit the side of his right thumb thinking a way that might as well work well without being suspected at some point.

"Didn't you say 'You'll handle the psychic. I'll handle the immortal.'?"

"Yes, why?"

"Then leave it all to me, Damien my friend. Leave it all to me."

"Alright then."

~**|xxXxx|**~

_**Stan Marsh is now online.**_

**Ike:** Stan, my brother told me that there's a man who went to our house and gave him the "brain enhancer" thing.

**Stan:** Brain what?

**Ike:** Brain _enhancer_.

**Stan:** What did the guy do to perform such a brain thingy?

**Ike:** Kyle told me how. He said the guy used cards that has drawing on them. Drawings like star, plus sign, circle and random shit.

**Stan:** Wait, aren't those Zener Cards?!

**Ike: **Exactly, I think that guy has something to do with Cartman. I'm not sure though.

**Stan:** Shit, he did that behind our backs using another person in disguise!

**Ike:** … So, this proves that this is serious since it involves with psychic powers.

**Stan:** Kyle really is psychic then since Cartman went that far to use Zener Cards.

**Ike:** Zener Cards aren't harmful, it's just to enhance the psychic.

**Stan:** Enhance? I don't know why would Cartman enhance Kyle's abilities. Do you think he is doing it in a good way?

**Ike:** If it's Cartman then it's **not** good.

**Stan: **Oh… What will he do when Kyle really does have enhanced powers?

**Ike:** I'm not quite sure, but how will he benefit himself if Kyle is the one who has the power?

**Stan:** Damn, This is total bull crap man!

_**Ike has signed out.**_

~**|xxXxx|**~

And there it goes again, Ike signed out but I'm glad he isn't responding like a Clever bot unlike before. What's wrong with the server? Is it being an ass to those people who are chatting too or did Ike really signed out?

(o.\\\)_(o.\\\)_(o.\\\)_(o.\\\)

_In Cartman's desktop._

_Click. Click._

_Opening Sticky Note App._

Me and Damien are gonna do this together. I hate teamwork somehow but it's for the best.

_Save Note?_

_Note Saved. _

=∞ .END∞=


End file.
